Nearly ten minutes must have passed since I typed the title on this one. I know this because my cd (technically a playlist of ogg files) is now on track 3. Bells For Her. I know roughly what I want to write -- on a whole bunch of topics -- but none of it is emerging. Instead, I have sat, transfixed by the music from the speakers, and the dance of my own thoughts.

After the previous entry, I lay back down. One Dark Side of the Moon listen later, and I went back to sleep, and stayed asleep for two hours.

An inordinate quantity of porn and masterbation bought me another couple hours of sleep. (Yeah, it's awkward to write that, cause it's more information than I really feel like revealing, and probably more than most readers want to hear. But this site is about documenting truth, and since I have chosen to deal with this beast without ongoing assistance from the medical establishment, I figure it's best to reveal all my tactics without exception, in case anyone who finds themselves in similar territory happens to read this and wants to adapt my techniques to their situation.)

I did this not because I was horny, but because I knew from past experience that the energy build-up would simply become too much and explode. I needed to vent that, one way or another, even if my body wasn't pressing me to do so at this moment. (And yes, I recognize this as another symptom of my condition. If I cease to feel the need to "get it out" over a period of many days or weeks, it's a good bet that a manic episode is either around the corner or already beginning.)

Now, I find myself in a relative state of calm and peace. Fear, the mindkiller, has left me. I know I'm not out of the danger zone yet, but I'm on the right track. The next several days are likely to be pretty interesting. I intend to enjoy the ride, and do the best I can to propel myself through it without causing damage to myself or others, while also fulfilling the commitments I have made. It might get bumpy at times.

Now, rather than attempting to write all the mental content -- potentially enough to fill several essays -- that was flowing through my brain a few moments ago, I'm going to adjourn, and reacquaint myself with the immediate present of the physical realm. It's time to get up and walk around. The path to hell lies in forcing myself to sit in front of this box until all the pressing ideas are put into writing. They will either have to wait, or disperse into the ether, perhaps to be lost forever. So be it.

I'm done with this now.