This morning when I arose, I found that the year's first snowfall had covered Lincoln in white. More than any date on a calandar, the sky presented true evidence that the season has turned. And my pattern with it, for I found myself driving to work. And I wonder, What new game is this that the Great Wide World of Life now gives?

I trained as a cashier, learning the ways of the Open Harvest Point of Sale system. It's quite fancy, though I find that more steps are often required to complete functions equivilant to those at my other place of employment. Unfortunately, since I'm not a regularly scheduled cashier, it doesn't look likely that I'll be able to put this training to much use anytime soon. I'm slightly worried that when I finally do get to sub for a cashier at a time that doesn't conflict with my other schedule, I'll have forgotten much of what I learned today. Oh well. Good to get some exposure to it anyway, I suppose.

Afterwards, I did a bit of grocery shopping, and also had a brief conversation with L about scheduling some sampling demos. She strongly hinted (for the second time this week) that it would be best to just forget about doing more volunteering there, now that I am an employee. But she also said that there might be some paid sample-serving opportunities coming up in the near future, and I would be the ideal person to do those.

I'm not sure how to react to this. If I were to wander in tomorrow for my "usual" volunteer shift, would they say, "What the bleep are you doing here now?"

Granted, there is no longer any material benefit for me to gain by volunteering, but the truth is, I had actually gotten to like the ritual of biking in every week, performing all manner of odd jobs with no specific timeline, doing a bit of shopping afterwards (yay discount!), and then meandering along home -- or perhaps to potluck, or the park, satisfied that I had helped out a little, and gotten a little something back too.

But now? I'm one of the crew, just as I told myself I wanted to be. No longer a fledgling hanger-on. It would be silly for me to go back and volunteer there now. It would be like someone who has just graduated high school continuing to do math homework problems out of the textbook every night. Even if he enjoys math, why doesn't he go on to tackle something greater, instead of retreading the same ground over again?

In other words, maybe I need to find another venue into which I can pour more of my civic-minded energies. As of yet, I'm not sure exactly what that venue might be, especially in the near term. Before seeking it out, I also need to take a little time to adjust to this new equilibrium.

I had started to write out something about a possible plan of action for tomorrow moning, but the truth is I have no real idea what I'm going to do. In a way, I like that.

...

After wrapping up at Open Harvest, it took an eternity to drive across town and get to my job at the gas station. In fact, I was a couple minutes late.

In a way, it was good to get back to doing something familiar again, even though I was quite tired from the past 24 hours of activity.

Now, my brain and body really are begging me for sleep. This time, it happened before ingesting any funky chemicals. I may take a couple anyway just to make sure things stay on track. Then, I shall accede, and let myself be pulled under.