Days pass, the weather gradually becomes colder, the sky darker, and my spirit feels like it's fading. Losing sense of purpose. Lost in the maze of routine. What am I doing here? Is my time being wasted?

Human interactions reduced to minutia. "Hi, how are things going?" "Alright, how are you doing?" "Good." Bills paid. Meals eaten. A movie every now and then for entertainment. What's to complain about, right?

Life feels empty. Shallow. A silly parody of itself. I can add more little activities to my routine, or discontinue them if it gets to be too much, but either way, I can't escape the feeling that it mostly all adds up to a pile of nothing.

Maybe I sleep too much? It's hard to tell when I find myself awake until 2 or 3am with increasing frequency, then back up again as normal around 9am, but then going back to bed before noon, to wake up in time for $whatever later in the afternoon. Where did the day go?

Sleeping. Right. Because I like to sleep. Don't I?

Too much time spent web surfing. That I know.

Trivial addictions become a weak point at such times. They don't really solve anything, but do provide a brief stimulation or distraction; when life doesn't seem to matter, what difference does a little mildly self-destructive behavior make anyway, right?

Things aren't going bad, really. Mundane would be the word.

On the inside, and on the outside.

I think I'll watch a DVD now. Haven't decided which one yet.