More Nonsense
Started: Monday, September 5, 2005 01:02
Finished: Monday, September 5, 2005 01:52
Since finishing the last rambling, I've had [count em] 1, 2, 3 ramblings that I've started and haven't finished, each on different subjects. Ok, so a couple of them didn't get very far at all before I stopped, but I hate when this happens. Maybe I should just stop and go to bed, but I don't want to.
What is it I'm trying to do here? Sometimes I wonder why I still keep this website up at all. It just seems so silly. Reams and reams of endless mental drivel being poured into the archive, a few of which I might occassionally read again a few years from now. I dunno.
I like the online community aspect. A little virtual gathering place for friends. That's cool to have.
But as far as personal creative output goes, I guess I'm not feeling very satisfied with it right now. Or maybe I'm just in one of those off moods, which come and go like the tides.
Sometimes, I feel as if I have nothing original to say anymore. Maybe I never did. If so, is that a bad thing? Does one's worth as a person depend on constantly outputting something with novelty?
I'm also feeling a little bit stuck in other regards. The physical clutter which currently surrounds me has surpassed the point of mere annoyance, yet I cannot seem to motivate myself to do anything about it. Why? I procrastinate cleaning it up, thinking tomorrow will somehow be a "better" time.
Yanthor came downstairs a few minutes ago. We talked for a little while, I remembered that I owed him a rent check, and got that out of the way.
Sometimes, I don't think I'm a very good listener, or a very good articulator either, at least in face to face conversations. It's like my mind involuntarily disengages, and I have to struggle to bring it back into focus, but with all that internal struggling, I lose sight of the moment, miss out on what the other person is talking about, or fumble my own thoughts about what I'm trying to express.
The only time this doesn't seem to be a problem at all is when I'm right on the edge of a manic episode. (Note: I emphasise "on the edge". If I'm in the midst of a manic episode, then all bets about anything are off.) When my mind is overclocked at a certain rate, it's able to keep near-perfect pace with everyone, while still tracking internally without stumbling. But that's an unstable state, so it doesn't generally last for very long.
Anyway, this rambling was truly random.
I know I've been quoting a lot of Ran lately, but I'm going to do it again, because I find his latest post this evening about understanding evil to be utterly fascinating. Whether you agree with him or not, check out this contemplation on the nature of evil.
Understanding it [evil] is not that hard. Have you ever felt good about pulling a weed in your yard, or taking a shovel to one coming up through a crack in your driveway, or trimming the edge of the grass (even though it's not a "weed") to have a clean line where it meets the sidewalk? That's just half-assed evil: valuing deadness over life, valuing your control over another being's freedom, valuing uniformity over any complexity that did not originate in your ego. You felt good about snuffing something to maintain the sanctity of dead geometry. The Bush gang is just taking that feeling and not holding back, taking you to your logical conclusion. And I sort of agree with them... because if we just felt that way about selected species, one "weed" at a time, and proceeded in a rational and prudent manner, we would eventually exterminate all life on Earth except the few species we could absolutely control, while seeing ourselves and the whole process as benevolent and natural. But when that feeling goes wild, it's like a boiler explosion in the factory of evil. There's a lot more dying, and then a brief calm before they can get it going again, and in the meantime two or three people get smarter.
I dare you to play with that feeling -- let it extend to other humans, and before you pull it back, hold it there a moment and find out how it tastes. Now pull it back and next time push it farther, and in recoil, try to pull it all the way back. And out again. Keep at it, and you'll understand it, and the next time you see it in action, you won't waste any time being surprised or angry or baffled.
So if we take this premise, when Bush declares war on Iraq, in his own mind, he's only making the hedges look prettier. The living beings which make things "messy" -- whether they're human, animal, insect, plant, or single-celled organisms -- need to be "dealt with" in a way that satisfies our need for order. I'm not sure if this satisfies as a complete definition of evil, or not.
If Hitler and his Final Solution were the epitome of evil, then it does seem to match that pattern. The Nazi ideal wanted to make the human race "clean", genetically speaking. Hmmmm....
I'm going to let this one stew around in my mind for a little while. If any readers here have anything that adds to and/or refutes these notions, I'd be interested to hear it.
Now that I think about it, the argument bears a certain parallel to Ishmael's assertion that the one aspect that makes the civilized variety of the human race unique in the world is its desire to hunt down and wipe out any species that competes with it for resources.
With that, I really am going to end it and go to bed, even if I haven't really made any progress. My mind and body are ready now.
by nemo (2005-09-05 14:35)
Hmm. A problem I have with his argument is that it's based on the idea that all life is of equal value--sentient and unaware. I don't buy into this at all. It makes no sense to say that pulling a carrot is evil. To do so is to in effect say that evil isn't really bad after all (or put another way, that nothing is bad (or everything is bad)). Such assumptions destroy our ability to discern the relative value of anything. Such logic would say that buying a candy bar for $30 is as good and reasonable a deal as buying a house for $30.
People are of infinitely more value than carrots. Killing people is bad. Mowing your lawn is not. Cutting your hair or trimming your fingernails is not. Killing the heartworms in your dog or the bacteria infecting a wound is not bad. It is not evil to kill the protazoa that is causing malaria. It is not evil to disinfect your bathroom or to wash your dishes.
Things have relative value from bacteria to dogs to people. People are not plants. Plants do not think. They can't feel pain. I'm not saying we should destroy every plant we come to--of course not, but pruning your roses has nothing to do with mass murder.