Dream Prophetic
Started: Thursday, September 22, 2005 10:54
Finished: Thursday, September 22, 2005 12:06
That was wierd. I dreamed another dream. A signal from beyond? Or just brain static?
I dreamed that I applied for a job at Open Harvest, and got it. Rather, it was a place that looked very different than Open Harvest, but resonated on the same psychological frequency.
I dreamed that my first day on the job came right before the week-long vacation. The vacation resonated on the same brain pattern frequency as the upcoming return to Colorado for the Megafest, but on this vacation, I didn't really travel anywhere.
I dreamed that I had managed to get things scheduled just right so that I could work both at the new job and stay at my pre-existing job for a while.
I dreamed that as my vacation came to an end, I had forgotten what my new schedule was. I was thinking about calling to ask about it, but I feared I might have already been absent a day when I was supposed to be there.
I dreamed that on the way to work, I was held at gunpoint by two guys who wanted to buy an entire case of some sort of expensive pet food. Here's the wierd part: Even though they were holding a gun to me, they handed me money and told me to get them a big case of the animal food. (Dog or cat?) I went into the store, found the can of the appropriate product, and told a coworker that there was someone who wanted to buy a whole case of it. I said they had a gun. He thought that was strange to. We went ahead and sold it to them.
I woke up from my dream. Sort of. I realized I had been dreaming that part about returning to work and being held at gunpoint. But I still thought with certainty that before my vacation, I had applied and been hired for a job at Open Harvest. But I couldn't remember my schedule.
Wait. Another false awakening. I had to wake up.
I knew I was still asleep. I had to wake up. If I woke up, then maybe I would remember what the schedule at my new job was. Had to wake up, had to wake up.
I opened my eyes. I could see the ceiling. This, I knew, was the real ceiling. But I couldn't move. I was paralyzed. The most I could do was shift my eyes back and forth, and I feared they would flutter back to sleep.
Reality returned to me. First I feared it, then I knew it for a fact. I had neither applied, nor been hired for a job at Open Harvest. Remember?
I kept my eyes open, looking at the ceiling. I wanted to move my head, my mouth, anything. If I just pushed one small muscle hard enough, maybe it would trigger the rest of my body to emerge from this paralysis. I contemplated, for a moment, that maybe this is what it must feel like to be a quadrapalegic.
Was I still dreaming? If so, this was one lucid dream that wasn't going to drift back into conventional sleep. I would not give up. I determined to just lay there, keeping my eyes open, staring at the ceiling, until I woke up and was able to move around. An exercise in meditative awareness.
Something tripped, and...
I was laying in bed, with full command of all my muscles. But at first, all I wanted to do was move my head back and forth. I looked at the clock.
Yep, that was my mid-morning nap.
Wow. Was this, like, a message from some parallel version of myself? A signal from the universe that it really is time to switch tracks? Should I go apply for a job as an employee at Open Harvest?
For the sake of narrative focus, I omitted a bunch of other stuff, the memory of which also came through in partial form. About moving my computer around, and dad talking to me about.... was it politics? And.... I dunno. Mostly a lot of places that bore no physycal resemblence to real life, but had corresponding spiritual resonances.
I recall that when I had been thinking about signing up to volunteer at Open Harvest, the last nudge that finally motivated me into action came from a dream. It's almost as if there's something on the other side of my dream consciousness that wants to keep pushing me in that direction. I would be remiss to ignore it.
So what do I do? I still maintain that overall, I'm quite content with my current routine of working the gas station, volunteering at Open Harvest, and having enough free time to ride around town several days out of the week, engage in fun cooking experiments, go to some church events, and indulge in online intellectual wankery.
Should I fill out an application to work at Open Harvest, wait and see what happens, and play it by ear from there? What if I were to do so, and they then offered me a job on the spot? How would I respond? I still don't even know if I'd want it at all.
Also to keep in mind: This comes at the same time that earth's immune system is showing more signs of reacting with decisive force to humanity's abuses. As I write this, the top headline on google news says, "Texans flee fearsome Rita". Whether we're ready for it or not, this is almost certain to accelerate the Slow Crash another notch. I liked how Jeff Wells put it in his post this morning:
Three weeks after Katrina and one week before Rita, the poor and the black and the dead of America have become its scarecrows, warning those with eyes to see what time it is, and to save themselves.
If the Crash were to kick in hard, given a choice between being an employee at the nearby petrol station, and a worker at the not-quite-so-nearby food coop, well... Guess which one wins hands-down in virtually every conceivable scenario. In both spiritual and practical terms, one is a dead-end, while the other contains the seed for humanity's future.
Then again, it's entirely plausable that if things seriously go to shit, especially if it happens suddenly, both could easily be wiped out with equal deftness.
I shall contemplate these things during the coming shore leave. When I return to Lincoln, I may decide to shake things up a bit ahead of schedule. No guarantees right now.
by Bitscape (2005-09-23 00:56)
Given that I seem to have an inconvenient case of chronic insomnia tonight, I'll make another little post. (Inconvenient because I have to work in the morning, but probably inevitable when considering my late-night behavior over the past few days.) Ironically, it involves dreams.
Could it be that the Dream Gods not only have a specific plan for me, but have been trying to figure out how to send messages that guide and motivate me in a manner to which I'll be most perceptive? The pattern goes back farther than this coop stuff.
I remember a dream I had back in March. An unmistakable message encouraging me to go ahead and join with my fellow humans who are living to save the earth. I only followed through half-way, then got sheepish and turned around. Now I'm wondering what might had happened if I had taken just a few extra steps. Knocked on the door. Put myself out there in a way that might have seemed looney.
There's so many moments like that, where something either does or doesn't happen.
So the Dream Gods looked at my path, and said, Maybe we overestimated him just a little. Put before him a way that was too much for that moment. So let's try another way, with smaller steps. Time for Plan B.
So maybe they gave me a tiny nudge in the direction of Lincoln. A convergence of events, combined with a bit of a sting (this one in the waking world) to get me moving.
Then, with a bit more subtlety perhaps, they kept nudging.
It's an interesting narrative by which to view the world. "The Gods" want me to do this. "God" sends me a message to go there. "My subconscious alter-self" has a master plan, communicated to me piecemeal through dreams and premonitions.
In the Bible, God was constantly communicating to people through the medium of dreams. Personally, I think there might be something it, though I tend more toward a polytheistic view.
Whichever Gods it is that might perhaps be speaking to me through dreams, I can't help but think they are on my side in this struggle. At my most perceptive moments, I can also sense the existence of metaphysical entities that would do me harm or attempt to imprison me.
Well, I think that'll do for now. If I'm lucky, maybe the gods will have another message for me before my alarm clock goes off in [groan] 4 hours. Must lie back down now.