Today's 4-hour gas station shift actually went faster than yesterday's. I met two of the other employees, and hung out with them for a while. Tomorrow, I'll be starting at 08:00, but it's only a 4 to 5 hour shift. The only trick is getting myself to wake up earlier than I have been. Meanwhile, I'm getting more settled in, here in the basement of Yanthor and Anya.

No word from Nanonation yet. Ho hum.

Song after song gets played by xmms, and no words emanate from my keyboard.

Maybe I should go to bed like I did last night. I wonder if the same thing would happen after 5 minutes -- a clear idea comes springing to the surface that's just too good to be ignored.

About the job thing... Honestly, at this point, I'm not too worried about it. Is it strange to say that if I don't get offered the programming job, I don't think I'll really be that devastated? Maybe there's a part of me that really wants to keep doing the gas station thing for a while, even if it pays far less and doesn't have the "prestige" of the other one.

That's not to say that I'd turn down the tech job if it were offered. I'm still a mouse, and haven't quite yet transcended the instinct to follow the cheese. But if that cheese doesn't show up, I won't be starving.

Here's what I like about the gas job: It's easy. It doesn't suck out my brain power. The work environment is relaxed. When there's a lull, nobody cares if you just stand and stare out the window for 5 minutes or read the newspaper.

This stands in stark contrast to my last service sector job, where the directive was to constantly be doing something. Even in those rare instances when the deli was less busy, and you found yourself ahead of schedule, you were supposed to wash the walls in between waiting customers or something. Uggh. But here, it's not like that.

So far, I haven't encountered any of the petty behind-peoples-back sniping and scape-goating of fellow employees either. But in the deli, it was a regular thing. I was never sure why, but it seemed to carry a momentum all it's own, turning otherwise nice people into backstabbing bastards.

So yes, I think that emotionally, I could, if needed, stick with this job a lot longer than that one. After six months, I was about ready to throw in the towel, even if my dad hadn't come along with the promise of newspaper riches.

Maybe I'll feel differently after working there a few months, but my instinct tells me it's a healthier zone, spiritually speaking.

And on top of that, the walk from here to there takes only a couple minutes. Can't beat the location.

Then again, it might be fun to port C++ code too. But what if it's not? What if I get there, and find myself utterly overwhelmed, over my head in complexity, and the employees and managers aren't really so enjoyable to work with after all? It could happen.

So anyway, I think it's a fallacy to think that the tech job would automatically be better for me. It might be, but it might not.

It is now in the hands of the Fates. In this matter, I shall trust them implicitly. I can honestly say that I will not be angry or bitter with their decision, regardless of which way it goes. They can see farther than I.

Now, I really need to wind down and get myself to sleep so I can wake up tomorrow. Another song or two, plus a few judiciously used chemicals to dial down the brain activity. That'll do.