[Originally posted to livejounal.]

Spring Haze
Doughnut Song
Marianne

Brain feels as if it's stuck in the mud. Wanted to write something 2 weeks ago, last week, and again Sunday night. While away from the computer, made an aborted attempt which filled a couple substanceless pages with ink, which then just sort of... trailed off. Not worth copying.

Track 8. Muhammad My Friend.

It's not as if there haven't been (some) things happening. bouncing visited last week for thanksgiving. Twas a good thing, overall. Each member of the family made something for the dinner. Mom: Wild Rice. Dad: Salad and dessert. bouncing: some wacky lasagna. Me: my classic rolls. Not exactly traditional, but it was good.

02 - Blood Roses.

Damn. I seem to be taking a liking to Boys For Pele tonight. For the N-hundredth time since purchasing it way back in... '96. (my first foray into Tori goodness) Over 8 years ago. In a way, it seems like just a flash ago, and yet in another sense, an eternity has passed.

God knows I know I've thrown away those graces.

09 - Hey Jupiter.

If this post is incredibly insepid, oh well. When I start seeing comments inquiring about where I am, I figure I better post something. Besides, as anyone who followed the old bitscape.org knows, this is nothing compared to some of the nonsense I would frequently spew there.

01 - Crucify. (Now switching to Little Earthquakes. Maybe I'll just let it play the whole album. When I say "album", I really mean all the ogg files in the current directory. But I'm sure you all already knew that, or even if you didn't, it's not terribly relevant anyway.)

Ahem. Now back to our "content".

bouncing delayed his departure for a couple of days due to the snow. Originally, he was going to leave on Sunday, but with the storm making all the interstates a mess, he stuck around until Tuesday morning. More playing of video games and other random stuff ensued.

04 - Precious Things. (I decided I'd rather keep skipping around to different tracks at whim.)

Oh, and on Saturday, I made bean dip. Still have some left. Yummy.

10 - Tear In Your Hand.

One song, one paragraph. That works, right? Even if it's a little one. Naturally, I break the rule as soon as it's been codified. :)

I've been thinking that it might be cool to revive the bitscape.org domain, although exactly what to put there is uncertain. Should I just restore aquarium.pl to its former glory? I dunno.

06 - Happy Phantom.

Keeping depression at bay, but sometimes just barely. At night, when insomnia strikes, thoughts about suicide come often. No, nothing I plan on acting on, at least not in the near future. I won't do it as long as my parents are still around. I couldn't do that to them. But later, when they're passed on? Honestly, after that, I'm not sure I'll be able to find sufficient reason to continue this feeble existence. But hopefully, that will be a while, so thinking about it now is premature to say the least. Anyway...

12 - Little Earthquakes.

Why do I even think about such things, much less write them? Right about now, there's a strong tendency to start thinking, "WTF is wrong with me?" But I know that will only make things worse, so I'll refrain. It's what's there. So be it. Better to live with myself and accept it, rather than proceeding further into the cycle of self-loathing.

Under the Pink. 07 - Waitress.

What of my plans, or lack thereof?

02 - God.

Sometimes you just don't come through. It's now officially December.

03 - Bells for Her.

Hmm. Maybe I'll write more later. Thoughts are there, but... solidifying them into words and sentences is trickier.

There you have it. 2 or 3 paragraphs worth of actual info, spaced out over $deity knows how many pages. Maybe now I'll listen to some NIN. Or not. Whatever.

And I see it coming, and it's on its way