Tonight, after arriving back from Hacking Society, the non-existent open mic night at the Circle A Ranch (but there will be a huge party there tomorrow evening which do intend to attend -- but if I drink any of the free alcohol, I won't be driving afterwards. The cops are cracking down on DUI's extra hard in this town right now), I decided I wanted.... Well, I hadn't really figured out what I wanted.
I flipped through my recent music downloads (legally purchased albums from foreign lands), and threw on a bit of Theroin. The Secret of the Runes album. Remembering the site where I had received it, I returned to the allofmp3.com music store, to see what had transpired since my "episode" began.
Slowly but surely, their online store has been getting slicker and more refined. Initially just a place where you pretty much had to know what you wanted in advance, it's been getting better and better at giving me suggestions that suit my tastes, even during times when I'm not logged in, and leaving the "Clear Channel" corporation hopelessly in the dust. (They have been attempting to play "new" music on KBPI lately -- aritsts I haven't heart before, but it's all so derivative of the last batch of Linkin Park wannabes that it has trouble catching my interest.)
Initially, I primarily used allofmp3 as a source for RIAA music that couldn't easily be downloaded legally elsewhere in easily playable formats. But lately, I've just been doing more and more of just grabbing whatever looks interesting. At around $1 / album for 192kbit ogg files, how can one really go wrong? (They do also offer free previous to members at low bitrates for sampling purposes, but I often find that it's easier to throw in a few quarters, download the whole lot of songs, and "sample" from my own hard drive later.)
So it aws that tonight I decided to download another album. The one I grabbed was entitled "Romantic Collection - Erotic Dream". It is a compilation of songs from various artists. According to the album page (link for the interested -- don't know how long it will work -- and BTW, if you see nothing but Russian language text, just click the "English" button in the top left corner, allow cookies, and it should give you something easier to read), the disc was released in 1999. But wait, it doesn't have the year here anymore. Oh well. I'm sure it said 1999 somewhere. So, I wonder, where are all these artists now?
I selected the entire album for encoding to my preferred format, and clicked through the usual steps. As it encoded (the load on their server farm appears to be somewhat heavy tonight, but they've done a lot of upgrading lately, so it didn't take long for my music to be ready), I listened to some of the other music I've gotten super-cheap, not only from allofmp3.com, but from cdbaby (encoded from the discs myself), iRate, and self-starting artists.
I've known for a while that my allofmp3 balance had been getting low -- down near a dollar: enough for another album, but not much more.
So I decided that tonight might be a good time to "recharge" it. Paypal could autobill my Discover Card (they have that info on file), and I judged myself as being in a state of enough mental competence to be able to pay. (Returning to lucididy gradually over the past few days. My $40 debt to mom is on its way to her via an envelope in my car, thanks to Wells Fargo promptly delivering a replacement ATM card, and all my gnucash records are now caught up.)
So when I went to the payment page, I was shocked to see, where the "Paypal" logo normally goes, that Paypal is temporarily unavailable as a means to transfer funds to this company. But they still offered Credit Card Processing, as well as a few other forms of EFT.
Initially, I had been very squeamish about the idea of sending my credit card numbers to an unknown Russian entity. But their paypal operation had been fine earlier, they had proven to me that the service they offer has great value, so I decided it was time to route around the damage. Long story short: Instead of adding $30 to my account balance, I ended up adding $50 (it was an easy option, plus I worry that it might get harder to pay as time goes on). An easy number. Enough to pay for 5 gigabytes of music data. Besides, if anything fishy happens, I can always dispute the change with Capital One. But I don't think that's going to happen.
My debt is still well under control. But I feel like I need to tighten the reigns anyway. I'm going to put these cards back in their envelop when I'm back in that area, and leave them there for a while.
The credit card processing system they used was incredibly sophisticated. It even showed me some interesting numbers, like how my dollars are being converted into other currencies -- for free. All I have to worry about is how I'm going to pay $50 to Capital One by the end of next month. Their processing service take care of the rest, but I still find the info they provide fascinating, so I took a couple of screen shots.
I know that there's a good chance I will never get around to using up that $50, especially if I act on the urges I have been foreshadowing, and leave town. But I wanted to send it over anyway, partly as a "thank you", and partly in the hopes that these geniuses will find a way to keep the operation running a while longer. Plus, I like the feeling of being able to grab whatever music I like with almost no financial pressure.
But beyond that, there's yet another reason. This is the EXACT sort of business I had thought it might be fun to get involved in creating TWO YEARS AGO. I knew the technology was there, and all we needed to do was throw the pieces together. But the laws of my country prevented me from creating such a business.
When I told my dad that I might need his help in filling out some of my passport application, he could not fathom why I ever would want to do such a thing. After all, we live in the "Land of the Free!"
If living under the thumb of John Ashcroft's Public Library Porn Police is what "freedom" is about, then I want something else.
Now, back to the music. It keeps me calm, and helps me breathe. One more piece of content to write before bed.
P.S. An offer: If anyone else sees anything on the allofmp3.com site that they want, but don't feel brave enough to attempt such overseas transactions directly, or just wants to try something small, email me. I'll be happy to use part of the $50 that I'll never use up by myself to help others break free from oppression.
just after 1am MDT
Goodbye, old collective.
Listening to the Beautiful Day song. The lyrics say everything there is to say about me right now.
I'd like to thank Jaeger for letting me use Ivanova to post content. I guess that's all for now.
End: Fri Sep 3 01:12:40 MDT 2004
After Hacking Society, I stopped by the Circle A(narchy) Ranch to check the status. The stage and usual pit where the fire happens seemed like a Dead Zone. Not a soul was there.
But I heard raggae music, so I followed my heart, and it led me to a smaller fire where car stereos pumped the beat.
I approached slowly, and made sure to illuminate my presence.
Two of the girls noticed first, and greeted me. I asked about open mic night, and they said it had been cancelled. But TOMORROW night, there was going to be a huge party, with lots of people, free alcohol, and much joy and merriment.
I inquired about further details, and decided this might be something worth seeing. The prettier one on the right talked to me longer, and I attempted to introduce myself. When I said my name, she said, "I know. I remember you." We shook hands again anyway. Holding on a little longer.
I tried to place her, and then remembered: Last Saturday Evening. I had come bearing a warning, and though we had not talked long, she was one of the people I encountered who had led me to the prophet. Next time, I would remember both her, and her name.
She was the reason I will be showing up tomorrow night, if only to verify that she still fares well.
My suspicion is that the whole thing might be a trap, a setup, a fattening of the calf before the COPs come in to slaughter it. But I hope I am wrong. I hope it turns out to be a fun music party, with no ill incidents.
I departed the Ranch in short order, and as I drove home, I touched death for the first time in my life.
Driving southbound on one of the newly widened roads, I made sure not to exceed the speed limit. Suddenly, right in the lane where I was driving, my headlights caught site of a small animal. It was moving across the road; very, very slowly. Continuing to travel at 55mph, I swirved to avoid hitting it, but not before I saw what it was: A Racoon. Big, beautiful, and in its prime. It had been hit by a vehicle, and was still squirming, trying to finish its journey so it could find peace.
Quick thoughts, no nearby traffic, and I pulled to the right to stop. By the time Tobias came to a stop, I was now many meters away from it. I threw the stick into reverse, and determined that I would do my part to try to help right the wrongs wraught by my species.
When I arrived back at the place where the bundle of fur lay, it was now still. It had made it to the dotted dividing line between the lanes.
I recalled what one advisor back at ASR2004 (Anarchist Social Retreat, held in Del Norte Colorado, Aug 20-22, 2004) had said to me. If you really want to learn to survive like that, take roadkill, and use it as food. It will be better than any steak you have ever tasted in your life. (The fact that the man from whom these ideas came had severe drinking problems did not sway me from remembering a little of his message.)
Was I ready to advance to this level?
I put on my blinkers, stepped out of the car, and... well... fumbled about a bit, hesitating. I was going to look for a trashbag to put the kill in, but... this was happening too fast. I stopped and contemplated. I was not trained in any of this. Maybe I should just start by making sure it's out of its misery -- the real reason I stopped to begin with -- pull it out of the middle of traffic, and then worry about feeding myself.
Within moments, a police car pulled up behind me. I wasn't sure what to do, so I pointed at the racoon body.
A female police officer stepped out of the car, and asked if everything was ok. I replied that it was. This would mark my third encounter with police over the past seven days. So be it. If I am going to be rounded up as a terrorist in the coming months, it wouldn't hurt to know a few local police, and have favorable connections with them.
She asked me if everything was ok, and I told her that the racoon had been squirming when I drove by, and had to swirve to avoid it. I said that I wanted to get it out of the road.
She had no objection to this plan, but suggested that before I do so, she get in the lane between me and the animal to keep any traffic from hitting me. Obviously, she was not used to someone such as me (an anarchist) just jumping in and doing shit like this.
As she blocked the lane of traffic, I walked up to the animal, whose movement had stopped completely. I rolled up my sleeves, held my hands over it, knowing what germs might await, and picked it up by the fur. Blood had leaked onto white paint which covered the black pavement below.
Deep Red. [Product placement. Remembering History. Search text: "September 8, 2002". Who else was there?]
I knew the death was recent enough that no bacteria would have had time to form. So I just... gently... grabbed its fur, and lifted.
I carried the dead to the side of the road, asked the officer if this was the right place to leave it. She seemed somewhat dumbfounded, but said yes, and seemed appreciative for my help. She said she would notify the city services, who would take care of the rest.
I closed my trunk, the officer asked if I needed anything else, and I said I would be fine. That was that. The police and I separated, and I turned the Sarah Fimm music back up as I drove home.
I will definitely want to be at that Circle A Party tomorrow. The one named Danny latched onto me so quickly that I would be remiss if I broke my promise. Even if she turns out to be drunk and doesn't remember me, I will be there, and I will -- if I can -- verify her safety.
As far as abstinence goes, the only promise I will make right now is that I am not ready to spread my sperm to the genitals of another. I am child-free by choice, and would like to stay that way for a while. But goddamn, dose it ever feel good to be alive in this strange age!
Death... life... love. It's all a circle. I think I'm beginning to understand again.
2:45am -- The Xena Fanfic Corner is just about ready.
Fri Sep 3 03:16:02 MDT 2004
Because his work (especially the novel) contributed so much inspiration to my life -- much more than many professional novelists I've read -- I finally paid another debt, and donated to Ran Prieur. Also, a snapshot of his site is now mirrored here. THEY WILL NOT TEAR US APART, DO YOU HEAR ME? THEY WILL NOT TEAR US APART! Not This Time. Please Goddess. Please. Let this prayer be true.
Apocalypsopolis. Remember the name of that book. We, the heroes of the future, are depicted therein.