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Again, I find myself going through a period in my life where I ponder the fundamental questions. What is my life all about? Where am I going? Where do I want to go? What is this existence really all about?

Sadly, I find myself no closer to finding the answers than I was 10 years ago. If anything, I am farther away.

Common cultural wisdom teaches us that this is stuff we are "supposed" to think about during adolescent times, and somehow "get over it" upon moving into adulthood. With me, that has not been the case, so the issue is further complicated by the additional question: Is there something wrong with me because of this?

(I suppose it would also be valid to question whether I am really an adult at this point. The fact that I've moveed back in with my parents due to economic constraints certainly makes me wonder. But if adulthood is defined as financial self-sustainablity, the same questions were still continuously plaguing me even when I was "on my own" in terms of money and dwelling. Though perhaps there was less time to think about them when I had a full time job.)

I've been reading more of the works of Ran Prieur. His insights, though sometimes off-the-wall, in many ways echo thoughts I've had about things, but haven't fully solidified into clear words. When I read his columns about things like, for example, the economy, I find myself thinking, "Yes, that's exactly the way I see it, but put in a way much clearer than anything I have previously come up with."

The first one he wrote helps give a better idea about his overall perspective on things. I guess I'm now a fan.

I finished watching the Angel Season 3 episodes yesterday. A great season, where the big season story arc really kicked into gear. In fact, I don't think any of the episodes from that one (except maybe a couple of the early ones) could really be classified as stand-alone. An entire season of episodes where each one contributes to the larger story. Truly the way to do it.

(For those who don't watch it, most of Angel Season 1 consisted of stand-alone episodes, Season 2 spent more time on long term arcs, and Season 3 was as I just described.)

Then, on pure chance, they happened to be running the first episode from Season 4 on syndicated tv yesterday afternoon. Lucky me. I got to see what happened after that cliffhanger ending. But now I want to see all of Season 4. More, more, more!

A couple weeks ago, while purusing the COP International website, I noticed that a lot of their albums had been reduced in price to $9.99 each. So on a whim, I ordered the Chiasm Disorder album, and the Chiasm/Threat Level 5 Divided We Fall remix disc.

(I have long been a pseudo-fan of both acts, and already had Threat Level 5's Maschinen album from several years ago. The lowered price provided just the excuse I needed to get Chiasm's stuff, even though I really shouldn't be spending money right now.)

As a result, I am now enjoying these sonic pleasure, with the added good feeling that comes from getting great music from a source that is NOT the RIAA.

I am a terrible junkie when it comes to music. But I'm sure everyone here already knows that.

Tomorrow afternoon and evening, we'll be moving the server. If bitscape.org suddenly falls off the face of the earth in the near future, it will probably mean we screwed up somehow, and this won't be the only website in pain. (Imagine the sound call of a thousand voices crying out in unison, every one of them causing scott's cell phone to ring incessantly.) Let's hope that doesn't happen.

(But just in case, I think I'll backup a raw dump of my database tonight. I really should fix things so the new comments are automatically backed up every night like the script I was running on the collective for a while. But anyway...)