From the good news department, a nice fresh deposit landed in my account today, courtesy of the scottgalvin.com direct deposit processing system.

Now, this doesn't mean I can immediately go out on a spending spree, but it does give me a bit of a breather for a while. Pay the creditors, buy some presents for people, and keep things rolling.

What creditors, you might ask? Well, last summer, when I made the call to wipe out most of my bank balance in order to pay off the car loan, and ended up unemployed much longer than I wanted, I found myself with insufficient funds to pay for auto insurance without depleting my savings. So, rather than completely wipe out all emergency funds, I charged the insurance bill to a 1.9 APR (until December, i.e. now) credit card.

Overall, despite my loathing of debt, I think that was the right decision for this situation. The short term credit interest ended up being a good bit lower than the interest on my car payments would have been, and I kept at least a meager sum of savings. (Which I am absolutely resolutely determined NOT to dip into for anything short of either (a) a real catastrophy, or (b) moving expenses, should I find a job out of state where I would be able to replinish the money after working a little while.)

Of course, the past few months have taught me that the biggest problem with running a balance on any credit card, regardless of interest, is that psychologically, once the balance is already there, it becomes much easier to add little items here and there. I have kept that mostly under control, though I have made a few minor incursions when I thought I could justify them. So far, I've always paid more each month than I have charged, and kept my expenses dwindling in line with my income.

Now, come December. With the most of it paid down, I could use today's payment to zero out the balance immediately, and end up with a fresh empty bank account again. I've decided not to do that. A good chunk of will go to the credit card. But I want to buy some Christmas presents, and honestly, even with my parents, I can't live on completely nothing.

So, rather than emptying the bank account and running up the balance again (thus establishing a nasty, nasty habit), I'll leave some of the balance that I have, and stick to a strict policy of only financing new purchases with cash on hand.

Unfortunately, I now have another exorbitant car insurance payment coming due. I will put that -- and that only -- on another card with a super low interest rate that lasts until March. I wish I didn't have to, but it's either that, or give up the car, or drive illegally. Or pay the insurance month-to-month, which makes it more expensive than the interest would be anyway.

With some luck, and if the business with the scott stuff continues to build, I hope to pay that one off by March before the interest goes up.

I'm also going to look into raising my deductables, and see how much that might help, because honestly, I have a high degree of confidence in my ability to avoid accidents. And in the event that one does happen, I'd rather be in a tougher spot financially for a little while than have this constant financial weight of grossly overpriced insurance to contend with constantly.

In the record keeping department, I've been neglecting to update my gnucash records for over a year. (Somehow, when I moved in between parental units, things just got really fragmented there, and I was too overwhelmed at the time to try to get all the paperwork into one place and get it to make sense.)

Today, I started a new account file. Shoved in opening balances for all my current monetary assets/liabilities, and I'll go from there. Fresh. From a new beginning.

One of my recurring problems over the past year with regard to money was my constant tendency to compare the present with the past. Guess what? I ain't making what I was two years ago. Inevitably, no matter what I do, I will always feel insufficient as long as I maintain that mindset.

Today is fresh. Today is different. Though the money might not be as good as it was, there are other challenges and opportunities not available before. Take everything for what it is without trying to saddle it all with an outlook of the past.

That's my advise to myself. I think I'm gradually getting better at adopting it.

Tonight, a slightly belated birthday dinner for my dad.

Later, I might or might not go clubbing. For better or worse, being in that environment for a few hours does seem to give me a sort of vital energy to keep going in life. So I might head out there.

Staying sane. Staying solvent. Staying alive.