[Note: The idea for the bulk of this essay was conceived during the night hours between August 2 and August 3 of 2002. Since there was no suitable place to record it at the time, Bitscape tucked the idea away in his tiny little brain for retrieval and transcription at a later date. Now, the thoughts have been slightly stained and refined by passage of time, but are still very much in tact, and as true as ever. Here it is.]

English, my native tongue, is a beautiful language. Though it has many quirks and exceptions bemoaned by students attempting to learn inconsistent mechanics of grammar and spelling, English possesses an immense vocabulary and range of expression. Because it provides the ability to tell and record my experiences with great clarity and precision, I literally cannot imagine living without it. I enjoy learning words, discovering how they evolve, and finding out how the language has changed over the centuries. But in one regard, the English language has failed me bitterly.

In a capacity I shall momentarily describe, English has so cruelly offended me that I have a momentary urge to curse it into oblivion, turn my back on this language of my ancestors, travel to the stars, and start a new world, where speech can begin anew. This is because I have recently realized that my language has been an accessory to a grave crime. This crime, largely a sin of omission, robs not only me, but an entire subculture of its sanctity, value, and basic dignity.

I have been looking for a word to help me describe an experience I will remember and cherish forever. Unfortunately, the word I need does not exist in my English vocabulary.

The word I want would describe a type of woman. Not just any woman, but a rare and precious breed who are capable of bonding and sharing sexual experiences with many others, without any expectation of future reciprocation. All they ask in return for sharing this pleasure is a mere sum of currency. It was just such a woman who gave me my first sex. I would like a word to describe her which connotes honor, respect, and dignity. I want to use this word to express the joy and gratitude I feel. One word is all I ask.

As if to slap me in the face, not only does my language refuse to offer me a suitable word, but in its place, it presents a wealth of words which would degrade, insult, and shame her. By offering no alternative, the language, by extension, beckons me degrade my own experiences, which I now hold as sacred.

We've all heard these words. Slut. Prostitute. Whore. Tramp. Ho. Harlet. They are words of shame and scorn, given to the English-speaking population in almost as generous a variety as different forms of the word "snow" have been used by Eskimos. So why is it that I can find among these words no selection which denotes the positive, joyful admiration I want to express? Even a neutrally objective definition, free of negative connotations, is difficult to find.

Let's briefly examine a few of these words, along with their definitions.

Slut.

Etymology: Middle English slutte
Date: 15th century
1 chiefly British : a slovenly woman.
2 a : a promiscuous woman; especially : PROSTITUTE b : a saucy girl : MINX

Oddly, I don't think I've ever heard definition (1) in any everyday speech. Maybe that's because I'm not British. In either case, I think everyone would agree that this is not a word that's used in a complimentary fashion.

Prostitute.

Etymology: Latin prostitutus, past participle of prostituere, from pro- before + statuere to station -- more at PRO-, STATUTE
Date: 1530
1 a : a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse especially for money : WHORE b : a male who engages in sexual and especially homosexual practices for money
2 : a person (as a writer or painter) who deliberately debases his or her talents (as for money)

While this word arguably comes closest to providing an objective description, it still conjures forth associations of shame and reproach. The image of the streetwalker is prominent in western culture. Definition (2) confirms the negative connotation. Someone who "debases his or her talents" is neither honored nor respected.

Whore.

Etymology: Middle English hore, from Old English hOre; akin to Old Norse hOra whore, hOrr adulterer, Latin carus dear -- more at CHARITY
Date: before 12th century
1 : a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : PROSTITUTE; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman
2 : a male who engages in sexual acts for money
3 : a venal or unscrupulous person

Virtually always used in a pejorative context, this one is even considered vulgar in many contexts.

Courtesan.

Etymology: Middle French courtisane, from northern Italian dialect form of Italian cortigiana woman courtier, feminine of cortigiano courtier, from corte court, from Latin cohort-, cohors
Date: 1533
: a prostitute with a courtly , wealthy, or upper-class clientele

Though this has a connection with royalty, and hence higher class, a courtesan is still nothing more than a tool to be used by the king or prince. I want a word to describe someone of independent spirit who chooses to bestow her gifts as a way of life.

Escort. Though a dictionary definition was not listed for this context, the word "escort" is typically favored these days by those practicing the sex trade. However, it doesn't work for me. An "escort" is essentially a higher class prostitute. A politically correct version of a prostitute who doesn't want to call herself a prostitute. It still carries the largely negative connotations of the previously mentioned words.

With all these negative words, where is a single word which can be used to convey the honor, dignity, and joy?

At this point, some may wonder, "So what's the big deal? It's just words. Why not just let it go?"

The effects of words, both on a small and large scale, have an immense influence on society. George Orwell understood the effect of words when he wrote the novel 1984. In this novel, he described a world in which the language was gradually eliminated and replaced with Newspeak. As a device to keep the ruling class in power, the new set of words would lack the capacity to describe concepts fundamental to any free-thinking society:

Take for example the well-known passage from the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among men, deriving their powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of Government becomes destructive of those ends, it is the right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute new Government. . .

It would have been quite impossible to render this into Newspeak while keeping to the sense of the original. The nearest one could come to doing so would be to swallow the whole passage up in the single word crimethink. A full translation could only be an ideological translation, whereby Jefferson's words would be changed into a panegyric on absolute government.

Is it possible that certain aspects of human experience have already been obliterated in such a manner, but people did not realize it, because the words to distinguish concepts never existed outside a narrowly defined ideology? When language lacks the capacity to describe an object, experience, philosophy, or person without also implying extraneous associations, a person cannot describe anything without forcing it into the constraints given by the language.

I cannot refer to the woman with whom I had my first sexual experience without also shaming her by the very mention of her profession.

Some might still think, "So what? We're still just talking about hypothetical theories, right? What practical effect do words, lack of words, and other philosophical mumbo jumbo have on life?"

Words do more than simply describe what is. Words affect thought, attitudes, and ultimately behavior. Words can define what is perceived as possible, and what is not possible. Words influence day-to-day decisions. The bias given to certain words can play a key role in defining perception and reaction to events. Words can also determine, to a large extent, how people are perceived and treated. When the words used to define a subset of society are highly negative, people think in those terms, and act accordingly. This is why the very hint of a racial slurs can ignite controversy.

With this in mind, how does our society treat its "prostitutes?" Does it thank them for the gifts they have bestowed? Does it honor and elevate them for contributing to the welfare and morale of the nation and world? Or does it mock them, try to punish them, and tell them that they are criminals who need to be hunted down, confined, and "corrected" or "rehabilitated" so that they can live a more "worthwhile" life?

(I am not suggesting that all who find themselves in the business of the sex trade should necessarily be there. Those who do not want to take the path, but have been forced there by poverty, calamity, or worse, physical coercion, should by all means be free to take their lives in whatever direction they choose. But there are some who neither need nor want to be "helped". They enjoy what they do, or at least don't mind it in exchange for the economic convenience. It is they whom this article is meant to describe.)

If language is at fault, who are the perpetrators of this crime of words? What sort of twisted personalities would construct a conspiracy to to create an otherwise wonderful language, but for some sick reason, err so grievously on this important detail?

The answer, of course, is that language is created, evolved, and shaped by the people who use it. It is our entire society. If a crime has been committed with words which exist or do not exist, then the culture as a whole is behind it. Am I willing to indict my entire culture?

I have often found myself intrigued by avant garde "artistes" who portray weird-looking imagery, such as crucifixes women hanging on crosses. For a long time, I didn't understand the meaning or significance of such expressions, but found them fascinating nonetheless. Now, perhaps I can begin to understand. Society has crucified those who give of their bodies and blood. In return for these sacred gifts, the most giving among us have received scorn and derision for thousands of years, disgraced to the degree that not a single positive word exists with which to praise them.

What can be done to right this wrong that the language has wrought upon some of its most valuable citizens? A few possibilities:

Create or invent completely new words out of the void, with definitions created to contain the needed connotations that the existing language lacks. The problem with this approach is that introduction of completely new words into the vocabulary of the general populace is a non-trivial task. If a person or small group of people simply make up a word make up a word to describe an activity, object, or action, then people who are not "in the know" will have no idea what is being said. If nobody knows what you're talking about, what's the point of having words in the first place? Barring a mass media campaign, communication potential is limited.

Another way to correct the wrongs done by language is to adopt the existing pejorative words and reverse their meaning through usage in a desired context, effectively redefining the definition. This technique has been used effectively by the homosexual community, and by minority racial groups to turn back negative meanings of words designed mock and stigmatize. A black man who calls another black man a "nigger" does so with affection. The same is true of "faggot" or "dyke" for homosexuals.

The problem with this approach is twofold. First, I personally wouldn't it find it very satisfying to refer to somebody whom I seriously hold in high regard as a "whore" or "slut". Even if I can somehow make it mean something positive to me, my meaning will not be obvious to others with whom I speak. Secondly, history shows us that this technique has only been successful when used by fellow members of a community or group that has been targeted, when addressing one another. It is still virtually impossible for a white person to call someone with black skin a "nigger" without it being interpreted as a very degrading remark. Hence, if I am to describe the noble women of whom I would like to speak, that puts me out of the game.

Another possible technique with which I have experimented is to borrow a page from the book of corporate obfuscation, and use intentionally vague, non-specific, fancy-sounding language to describe things in a way that a casual passer-by would neither understand nor find particularly polarizing. "Today, I visited a 'personal services consultant' who helped work out turnkey solutions for some relational issues." In addition to holding humorous value, it doesn't carry the venomous sting of "slut" or "ho".

One could also use a generic word such as "theripist". This term does turn out to be fairly accurate in many regards. It could be useful in talking to those who might not be so tolerant. (When planning a schedule: "I can't make it on Thursday. I have a therapy session scheduled.") Again though, this hides behind non-specific terms to mask true meaning. If there is no shame, and nothing to hide, then let our language be as specific as possible in contexts where full and complete honesty is called for.

Ultimately, something more is required. Obscuring, generalizing, constructing parody, and sarcasm is not always enough. I want a word which brings forth the richness and joy of the experience, without adding false layers of shame, pity, or scorn.

Though the mainstream language English may be lacking, perhaps if I search literature and language, the words I seek will exist in some lesser known realms. A hunch leads me to suspect that I may find the words I seek buried within the annals of scifi or fantasy literature. I say this not only because these are a genres I enjoy, but because the writers of such often have their minds which are open to the distant future, ancient past, and possibilities beyond the confines of contemporary life.

[Note as of the time this is being put to paper: Jess Whedon's Firefly, which has aired two episodes so far, shows great promise. Who would've guessed it?]

I have written this screed because of moral outrage at the wrongs which I perceive society has perpetrated against some of its most valuable members, who I believe ought to not only be allowed to exist in their profession, but also honored and exalted, rather than banished to hide in the corners, without even the protection of law enforcement on their side.

On the night I was seeking companionship, the first woman I spoke with on the phone politely refused to see me due to a lack of verifiable evidence of my location. I only had a landline, and no cell phone, so she could not trust me to be where I said I was. Though I would not realize it until much later, she instilled within me a deep respect for her kind. The lesson she taught me was that not only is it in my best interest to appreciate and respect her myself; an implied message was that it is also imperative to make sure others don't tread on her either. Otherwise, she and her colleagues just might decide to walk away altogether, and take their gifts with them. She openly admitted that her paranoia was caused by a lack of respect in her own past, and apologized for it while standing firm.

The second one, with whom I did meet, taught me through acts of kindness, gentleness, patience, and generosity that sex, and the people who provide it, regardless of reason or motivation, are in no way deserving of the derisive labels frequently assigned to them by others.

Having been bestowed with these gifts, I feel it is my duty to set the record straight, correct the history books, fix the sacred texts, and tell everyone in the world that these arbitrary constructions made of mere words need not confine us to their definitions. But in true Orwellian fashion, how can records consisting of words be corrected, when the very language used to write those words has eliminated the possibility of expressing the thought itself? If such a thing has been done, and thoughts murdered by language itself, then that which has been wrought is indeed a crime beyond words.

---

UNreferences, related ideas, and links of vaguely related interest:

• Firefly fan site
• Beyond Prostitution: The Sexual Priestess As Priestess
• How to Use Escort Services (Warning: though the content is text, there are some porn banners on the site.)
• 1894 Appendix: The Principles of Newspeak
• The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect of the Feminine (Disclaimer: I haven't actually read this book yet, but it looks interesting, so it's worth pointing out. Also, don't buy it from amazon, because they're being evil again. Find it somewhere else instead.)
• 1984 Complete and searchable.
• Salon: Angels of Sex.