Fuck it. I wasn't really planning to publish this. Just a little mindless insomniac brainstorming that wasn't going to leave the confines of this enclosure. That's how it started.

It could be said that I earlier this evening, I was given a metaphorical kick in the pants by someone who cares enough to tell me the honest truth. Quit bullshitting, get out there, take some risks, and be prepared to get hurt. Hard, and multiple times. You ain't gonna get what you want by typing shit on your web page, watching 500 movies, or reading 1000 books, or joining 5000 chat rooms. Your life is wasting away, you're past your prime, and you ain't getting any younger. So GO.

Tough advise to swallow. Still processing. (But, as was pointed out, mere "processing" without action is, in itself, stagnation.)

Anyway, since this is the space where we whore what little illusory privacy we may yet possess into the netherwinds of electron signals, where they will be received by anybody and nobody who gives a shit, here's a little transcript of the brainstorm I scribbled.

I want...

• Someone I can touch
• Someone I can listen to music with
• Someone I can talk to about anything
• Someone beautiful
• Caring
• Daring
• Adventurous
• Capable of hurting me (if she wansts to)
• hunts me
• I can feel
• Won't betray
• Someone I can share my soul with
• whose head I can hold close to my heart
• patient
• generous
• wears belly-revealing tank tops
• feels freet to touch me
• can cuddle in the night
• doesn't mind if I run my hands through her hair idly on the couch
• likes massages
• can trust with my secrets
• trusts me with her secrets
• enjoys having her feet rubbed (maybe it sounds like a cheesy Quentin Tarantino reference, but that's what popped into my head)
• likes scifi/fantasy stuff
• likes to get head, and willing to instruct he who lacks experience in the ways to best please her
• dyes her hair the color of her mood
• naturally brunette (not a requirement)
• piercing eyes like a cat
• rebellious
• beautiful (maybe not aware of her own beauty)
• speeks geek
• thrives on the darkness
• unleashes her full strength upon me

At that point, I decided I written enough.