And wouldn't ya know it? I slept away most of the afternoon. I think I needed it. Given the inevitable sleep deprivation ahead, it's probably good to get a little extra now. Although I suspect I'll be needing to down some rather heavy chemical doses in order to force my self into unconsciousness tonight.

As much as I hate to face it, I feel a growing, gut-numbing apprehension about the upcoming Atlanta trip. I want to be positive about it. I want to try to think of it as an adventure, a chance to see new places, to expose myself to a wider variety of experiences. I'm trying to think of it that way, at least. Maybe I should try harder.

I mean, it's silly and immature to get all freaked out over this, right? It's just a fscking four day out of town trip. A plane ride, a hotel, some long hours of gruelling slavin away at the keyboard, and then back, right? What's to be worried about? Logic and rationality dictate that this is No Big Deal. Some less definable knawing inside of me dictates something else.

Maybe I just need to take about 20 chill pills. Or better yet, find some way to magically timejump myself one week into the future. If only. Click those heels twice.... back in Kansas.

PLEEEAZE think positive. I thought typing about things here might help to exorcise the heebie jeebies out of my system. It often does. This time, that doesn't seem to be happening.

Maybe for some things, the only way out is through. I just wish the rational, reasoning, intellect part of my mind would help me out a little here. Tell me I'm not crazy to be scared. Tell me that just because I'm starting to have a beneath the surface shit fit over something thousands of people consider a normal, everyday activity, that my mind's compass is not in some way defective. My reason is not helping me. It is not comforting me. It is not guiding me to the truth. It is telling me I should be fine. I hope and wish that it is not a liar.

WWXD?

I gotta take care of some business. I don't think that there's anything more to be gained by continuing to type here right now.