Start: Wed 23:15 EDT

[Bitscape paces the hotel room, notepad in hand, while writing this.]

My body has lost all sense of time, reason, or regularity. My mind clings to the notion that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I will make it.

There are many things that I want to put in this rambling, but I must abstain. These are not the thoughts of anger, resentment, or fear. Those have already been uttered. No, now I am more filled with gratitude toward a certain irreplacable blessing which has helped me through these dark times. Some other criptic reference probably belongs here, but my brain is short on those right now. I wish I could somehow return all the good that has been bestowed upon me lately, but such a thing might not be possible. (We could could start digging out letters, I suppose, but my mind is kinda wasted.)

If this rambling seems a little bit disjointed, inconsistent, and of mixed tone, well... so am I!

I wish I had music right now. I didn't bring any cds. I wanted to pack light. Besides, the less devices you have to toat through airport security, the better. I think some Tori Amos would really hit the spot. Or maybe a little Queensryche. Yeah. Madonna. Madonna. That's what I gotta do when I get home. Visit a record store. Wouldn't want my reputation as being the owner of every album release in the catalog to slip now, would I? :)

I've decided that should my employer try to convince (or require) me to work this weekend, I'm just going to flat-out refuse. No temper tantrums. No lengthy rants here. Even if a gun is port to my head, I'm going to be more likely to say, "Go ahead and shoot." than walk back into the office. What I'm doing now is beyond overtime. If that ain't enough, too bad.

I guess I could also say that I was largely successful in fulfilling this mornings goal of "be civil, professional, and no more snide comments..." thing. However, taking full, or even primary credit for myself on this would be fallacy, as it becomes infinitely easier to behave in a professional manner when one is surrounded by people who continue to be friendly, courteous, helpful, and of good humor, despite an impossibly dire situation.

Aw shit. It's midnight. I could ramble on, but I need sleep. Presumably, another day of ... this. Tryin gto get the quote right. Probably failing.

"You will work. You will eat. You will work. You will sleep. You will work some more."

No shit. Tomorrow, a similar goal applies: Be civil, courteous, professional, and respectFUL. All the things that would make my mentor proud. It would be the least I could do, really. Gratitude. It's a powerful motivator.

Well look at me; I said it was time to stop, and here I'm going on. Really, now. Enough is enough.

That which does not kill me makes me stronger.

finish: 0011 EDT Thur