2/17/96
Ironicly, I feel a completion now. Not all the documents are fully written. I have eluded in this work to other documents yet to be written. Yet I feel nothing more is necessary. It's like everything that needs to be done is done and I can rest now. The reason all this is so ironic is that everything I have written here has been done within seven days.
About three hours from now a week ago, I began writing the article "Madonna's Propaganda" which I quickly posted to an internet mailing list. I had no idea what kinds of responses I would recieve for writing the article. The responses I got were thoughtful ones, and there were quite a few of them. One person even thought I should write a book <wink wink>. I decided I didn't want to do that, but by Sunday night I had thought of a better idea. A web page.
Soon after, I began writing feverishly everything that poured out of my mind. Many days, I worked endlessly without sleep through night to day to night to day. I just couldn't stop myself from writing. Over the last 24 hours, I have stopped for the most part, adding this and that for fun. I've spent most of the time just sitting here in my room looking around, imagining what's going to happen when this web page comes out. It's fun to imagine the possibilities.
There is a part of me that is tempted to upload all this information as it is in plain text format, just to prove to everybody that it actually was written in seven days. But then I wouldn't be able to add all the html-art I'm planning to do and still make it a surprise. Besides, most people would just think I planned the whole thing for monthes or even years and forged all the dates to impress people. They wouldn't be able to believe their eyes when they say that all this had been written so quickly. I've also considered putting all the text on a disk and giving it to a third party to verify later that I did indeed give it to him and that I haven't been planning this. But that too would be useless, as they would surely believe he was being bribed. People will just have to judge for themselves whether or not I'm telling the truth.
Now, I am not done with this work. Many of the documents are unfinished and one of them needs to be recreated because the original was destroyed. There is also one document here created before the seven days began. I also have a host of other ideas for documents to write which I could spend an eternity working on. If I did this, my web page would never actually be released to the public. I cannot allow this to happen. Before I start writing new documents, I must first make sure these are turned into a format suitable for the Internet. I will therefore make a commitment to start no new works until everything I have already done is out in the hands of the public.
After I take a very long nap, I will be spending the next week in a reflective state, finishing the things I have started here, doing the long grunt work of learning the html language and translating everything into it. At the top of every document here, you will see two dates printed. There will be an i.d. and an t.d. These stand for initial dates and translation dates. The initial dates are the day or days over which the original text was written or ideas conceived. The translation dates are the day or days during which the documents were polished, the blanks filled in, the spelling corrected, and the accompanying graphics created or chosen. After I get a good sleep which I very badly need, I'll be doing this.
[2/23/96 Note: I later decided only to include the original date each document was authored. That is the one you see at the top of everything I have written unless otherwise indicated.]
My long term plans after that are sketchy. I need to find an Internet provider I can trust to make sure this information gets into public hands. I also need to get a job and raise money so I can pay this provider for its services. I don't yet know exactly how this is going to happen. I just have to have faith that it will. I love life so much now, and I don't want to waste a single bit of it. I must thank God for making this happen through the work of Madonna. I acknowledge both of you for your kindness to my soul.
I also have been accumulating a large amount of email. Earlier today, I read a little of it and sent responses. I still have a lot to read. I have been telling the people I correspond with that "when you see my web page, you'll forgive me for not talking to you". I believe this will happen.
Now, I need to take a couple hours to relax and do nothing but listen to beautiful music while I prepare for precious sleep. One document I will constantly be adding to will be the Acknowledgements, as I know I will alwyas be thinking of more people to thank as I go along. Other than this, everything is now pretty much set in stone. The future is bright and wonderful. I'm ready for it to happen.