3/25/96
Yet another reason I want Madonna: She is a total bitch. I want a bitch. I want a woman who will treat me, and everyone else around her, like shit. I am a glutton for abuse. Let her dominate me. I'll take it, some of the time. I want to be nice to her and still have her treat me like shit. I think it would be fun. Why, you say? She is the ultimate woman. She is the utlimate bitch. All women, at least all the women I've ever known, are bitches. Try to deny it. I dare you to show me a woman who is not conniving, dastardly, and generally evil. I few hours ago, when I was reading over Ecclesiastes again, I became totally convinced that Solomon was a complete misogynist. Now, I'm starting to think he was right.
And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her. -Ecclesiastes 8:26
I want a fate worse than death. I want to be trapped. I want to say "fuck you" to God. I want to be a sinner. Admit you are a sinner. I am a sinner, and I have no intention of changing that. I want a sinful woman. I want the most sinful woman. I want the woman who was sinful and crafty enough to screw Pepsi out of $5 million and get away with it. I want the thief of hearts who constantly goes around treating everyone like her slave. Just the idea makes me horny.
"Why?" you may ask. Like I said before, all women are manipulative bitches. What's different about Madonna? She's open about it. She isn't afraid to call herself a bitch. She'll come out and say it. That is rare. All the women, young and old, that I have ever known are constantly trying to take something from me, make me do something, say something, give them something. FUCK THEM.
I have yet to meet a woman who will come out and openly say what she wants and demand it. I HATE being treated like there's something wrong with me when I can't figure it out from a few ambiguous clues that I didn't even know were clues. I'm not just talking about sexual relations here, either. I'm talking about everyday business dealings, casual relationships, personal interactions. It fucking sucks to be scorned for doing something wrong when I didn't even know I was doing wrong. A lot of the time, they won't ever tell you what it is that you're doing wrong, even if you ask directly. They'll just say that everything is fine, and continue to treat you AS IF you are doing something wrong. WHY DO WOMEN DO THAT?
If there's anyone who knows, I think it would have to be Madonna. She is the queen of shame. She knows how to make all her employees (particularly the males) feel bad about themselves for things they didn't even do! Look at Truth or Dare. "Freddy, you lied to me." Watch that scene again. Me? I don't need to. I've practically got the whole movie memorized. Look at how none of them even challenge her on this twisted bit of logic. They know that if they do, they'll get a public shaming, and they DO NOT want that. They know that if they just kiss up to her, she'll calm down after a while. Meanwhile, she gets to step on anyone and everyone she likes, and they'll take it gracefully. Admirable, isn't it?
No, you say? I think it is admirable. I would've liked to have been one of her employees in that scene. Had I been feeling giddy, as I am right now, I might have challenged her on it and gotten flogged. THAT would've been a sight to see! Although... She probably would have fired anyone who would've tried that, so maybe it wouldn't be such a great idea. Ah well, at least it's a thought.
I'm so tempted to use some examples from my life of the nicest women being total bitches, but I don't think I will. The truth of it is, most of them probably weren't even trying to be mean. They probably didn't even know the pain they were causing. Back to that old refrain, "You didn't mean to be cruel. Somebody hurt you too." Let me see if I can think of a generic, true-to-life example of an everyday woman being a total bitch without ever admitting it. ... It's so hard to be unspecific. Aw shit... Maybe a character in a movie, or a tv show... I guess I can't think of any right now. I'll refrain, at least for the moment, from using examples from my own life, as some of the people I refer to could end up reading this, and, you know...
Actually, I think I just thought of THE model example of this kind of behavior. Maybe next time I write an article about my mother, I'll talk about it.
Anyway, my point was that I want Madonna because she'll bitch me around. I want that to happen. One of the many reasons I am obsessed with her is this: She is the only woman I have ever seen who will openly act like a bitch. Well, I guess there is Roseanne. Ok, Madonna's not the only one. She IS, if may be so humble as to say so, the one for me. She may, for that very reason, not want me. I think she will, though, assuming she hasn't already found someone else to suit her. If all she wants is a man who submits, then I'm not her type. I will submit some of the time. When I do submit, I'll take literally anything, including physical abuse. (And no, I wouldn't want domestic services coming out to rescue me. When I don't want to be abused, I'll tell her so. If she doesn't listen, THEN I'll go to the authorities. If any of you manipulative female social workers out there are reading this, you'll stay the hell away from me when I'm being abused, unless YOU yourself want to take some bashing in civil court.)
There will be times that I will be stubborn as hell. I won't relent, no matter how much she tries to coax me, threaten me, entice me, or physically get after me. It will just depend upon my mood. If Madonna wants somebody who will be unpredictable, she'll definately enjoy me, and I her. If she doesn't want me, I'll just have to keep looking for the perfect bitch.