3/14/96
What do we, the people who populate the Internet, need? Anybody out there starving? Is anyone reading this having to stand out in the cold for lack of shelter? Are all of you people who don't have an address comfortable? Do those of you who enter the Boulder Public Libray to surf the web enjoy yourselves? Who needs a home, when you can go to the library and get information about the stars on the Internet? What do we, as a culture need?
In a word: nothing. All of us have the opportunity to get everything we want. Want a big mansion? No problem. All you've got to do is find somebody who knows how to use grammar, and they'll write a best-selling book about your miserable life in poverty. Then you'll both be able to afford private resorts in the mountains, if that's what you want. Necessity is the mother of invention, just like I am the father of this web page. Where is the void?
We have nothing to do. As people, we naturally like to keep ourselves busy. In the past, we've always done this by making sure we and our families had food and shelter. That's here. We're bored. Everyone is going around trying to figure out what to do. People are sick of having nothing to be occupied with. Don't distress. Innovation always follows neediness. It's no different in our situation.
What are people coming up with, in the way of activities, for themselves? Everything. Some people find that the best way to keep themselves busy is to order others around. This helps people who have no clue as to what they want, because they can have somebody else make it up for them. Others, whose basic needs have been taken care of by the plentiful state, go around conducting wars, turning their entire neighborhoods into battlegrounds. While this is fun for those involved in the battle, it hurts and kills a lot of others who don't want to go to war. Guess what happens then? Those who do not want war, whose needs have also been taken care of by the plentiful state, hire officers to fight the fighters. But these officers, being bored, go around finding harmless drug addicts to beat up. Interestingly enough, most of the harmless drug addicts are not fighting anybody, with a few exceptions: some are rightfully trying to get revenge on a government that persecutes them for harming no one.
That same government is bored. Persecuting drug addicts is not enough. Now, it wants to come after the Internet addicts. (Wasn't there a story on the news, not so long ago, about people whose lives were destroyed by the Internet? It's true. They wasted all their money and their time at their computers. Then, their families left them. Then they got into recovery programs and were healed) The Internet addicts have, for years, peacefully enjoyed themselves in their bliss. They make up fantasy worlds, exchange dreams, pretend like they are writing love letters to rock stars, and now they must be punished. Senator Exon, a guy who was so bored with the Senate that he has announced he will retire, found himself one last act to make his mark on history. He decided he'd make a big name for himself by throwing perverts in jail and fining them of money they don't have. Then, in order to pay the fines, they'd have to sell their computers to his klan, which always earns its money honestly by taxing America's citizens. Oh, it's all legal. You can look it up at the site congress has created. I'll give you the url later, after you've read more of what I have to say.
So, I ask again, what do we need? Do we need to get rid of people like Senator Exon? I don't know about you, but I'm sure not going to waste my time trying to fight fools like him. At least not with guns or legal measures. I've got a more powerful weapon. The keyboard is mightier than the ATF. I don't think it'll be too long before I'll have even more ammo on my side. Pretty soon, I bet I'll have someone who would be more than willing to give Senator Exon a blow job in order to ensure freedom for the masses. Oh, come on Madonna. I wouldn't ask you to do anything that I wouldn't do myself.
Alright. I'm going to go eat my pizza. It's almost done, and I'm starving. Hey, we still have to eat, don't we? Dining out can happen, down below.
Partially inspired by the song "More"
I'm Breathless, Chapter 8, Verses 0-infinity.