Boom! (...goes my sanity)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Location: Pittsburgh (Oakland area)
Music: T.N.T. For the Brain (Enigma)
So.... Finding myself back in a big city for little while (on the physical realm), and every direction I turn, there are so many games to play. Some of them look more fun than others. According to the mythical mainstream society's standards, the games I "should" be playing probably involve using this here computer to push bits around in such a way that my bank balance numbers balance out so there will be "enough" in the debit account to cancel out that nasty little number in the "credit card" account.
It's all very circular, really. Especially remembering that this "credit card balance" came about as a means to obtain said computer. And here I was just a few months ago, thinking I was all ready to be done with sitting in front of these devices, typing and and mousing away life's precious moments into cyber-oblivion. Recent choices made with awareness of will through "higher consciousness" (i.e. mind states achieved via fasting, trancing out, and the plethora of other shamanic techniques put to use over Summer Solstice) force me to reckon with the reality that my nature might not be quite so full of pure "voluntary simplicity" as I had once thought, at least as long as I'm living in a reality surrounded by the context of internet worlds, facebook privacy-invasion invitations, and all that.
Given the strategic and practical options available at this point, it's vaguely tempting to just take that card out one more time, wander around town swiping it at a few lucrative locations in exchange for a few more choice physical assets, and then throw the damn thing away without looking back, knowing full well that the physical address they have on file will get them nothing, and good luck trying to collect from someone whose cell phone minutes have finally expired, due to having no way left to pay the bill...
...And then, I'd be consigned to more or less live off the map in perpetuity... A strange thought, which I'm not quite willing to embrace just yet. (Although, given that my birth certificate and social security cards were both toast in the car fire, I sort of almost feel halfway there already. Sure, there's probably some drawn-out procedure for obtaining replacements, but for the moment, proving "eligibility for employment" is that many more hurdles away. Of course, that's assuming a "legitimate" employer has an "open position", and is willing to choose me out of however many other candidates have submitted applications, "resumés", cgi forms resulting in sql inserts, or whatever the latest means may be.
Frankly, at this point, that whole game of "normal" employment, and all the bullshit it entails, holds somewhat less appeal than the notion of fucking some random stranger, ugly as (s)he may be. Thus, I can certainly empathize with those who make the choice to enter the "profession" of prostitution, even taking into account the degree to which such means have been marked as "shameful" by this same society which would turn us all into cubicle slaves and "customer service specialists" if it could.
I say: To Hell with that Misery in Slavery. As an alternative, can't we all just become Whores and Sluts? (Around here, we call them "Servants of Namaah", a title of reverence and worship.) At least in that reality, the Slavery might also involve a little Happiness.
But how can I speak even to this, when my deeper mission involves Breaking ALL the cages, letting my voice ring throughout the cave, and helping open the way for others. (Unless I invalidate a recent VooDoo ritual in which I participated, wherein our group channeled the spirit of Harriet Tubman, praying with the express intent of taking the Train to FREEDOM.)
Any readers still with me, or have I gone completely off the track?
Oh well. There may be many highways and byways along the path. But for the moment, I'm just taking a moment to play a game or two. To quote an old hair metal song full of clichés that I used to listen to in high school...
You wanna dance with the devil
You gotta play his game