Cloudy, sleepy afternoon

Submitted: Sunday, April 25, 1999 17:10

I slept until nearly 1300 today. On the surface, it sounds outrageous, but really wasn't too much sleep because I was up until nearly 0330. Just over 9 hours. A healthy amount.

Anyway, as I was waking up, Neelix and Bryan were starting a Magic game. I stumbled around, read Slashdot for a few minutes, and took a shower. After that, I felt a little more awake, and proceeded to play a bit of Quake, Solitaire, and read some more Slashdot.

Bryan had to leave, so I continued to surf the web for a couple hours, not really feeling like doing much else. At 1500, I went to the chat to get a bite to eat, only to find that they had just stopped cooking any food. Bummer. So I bought a cold sandwich and munched it down before going to work at the microlab, where I am now.

There are a surprising number of people here. Earlier, it was filled to capacity. Unusual for a Sunday afternoon. I guess everybody's rushing to get those term papers done before the semester ends. Ho hum.

It's wierd. With Spring Break and Starfest past, life seems to be taking on a strange normalcy, even with the end of the semester approaching. Uneventful, routineness setting in. Doesn't even seem real that it's all gonna come to an abrupt halt after another blink. I guess that's the way life is.

I don't have much conviction for anything these days. Classes are mundane, pointless. Causes I once believed in so fervently seem stale, unimportant, or futile. I still believe in the principles, the ideals, but sometimes it seems like my role in these things is so trivial as to be pointless. Maybe it's just the foggy sky outside.

Reading what I've just written, it sounds like I'm really down, but I'm not. Actually, I'm quite content right now. Despite some problems, life is really looking pretty good. I mean, yes, I'm flunking a math class I should have had no trouble passing had I put forth an ounce of effort. Yes, the school I will be attending next fall is a total uncertainty. I'm still not even sure what I'll do this summer, although I have a few options. Life goes on.

I think my mood right now would best be expressed by quoting Alanis Morissette:

What it all comes down to
is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocked
and the other one is giving a peace sign

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?