Barf. It's what's for dinner.

Here at the National Barf Council, our goal is to con the American public believing that our shit is the only viable nutritional alternative. To keep our wallets happy, we'll stop at no end to achieve our goals. If you're still not convinced, have a look at these statistics:

• Independent studies have shown that barf is now consumed daily in 87% of America's schools, and in almost half of all American homes. If it's good enough for the public school system, isn't it good enough for your child?
• Barf is rich in protein. Barf has 98% more protein than "the other yellow liquid" and in some cases has been shown to enhance muscle tone.
• Each time you buy barf, you are supporting the National Association of Bulimics (NAB), a non-profit orginization. Because we care, the National Barf Council donates a portion of its proceeds to this charity. We believe that by funding the barfers, we fund our own future, and at the same time give something back to the community.

So go ahead and chug down those chunks of barf, and don't feel guilty. You'll be supporting a good cause and at the same time improving your own health and that of your kids.