3/12/96
I, Ben Kinder, do on this day of March 12, 1996, solomnly swear, with my right hand on my imaginary copy of the book of Sex, my left hand on my crotch, and two hands on my keyboard, that I will uphold this vow: I shall, for the period of one (1) year, do all in my power to keep this page, and everything therein, on the Internet. I further pledge that I shall do all in my power to promote, hype, and otherwise expose this web page to the public. I also commit, on this day, to do everything I can to make sure that each and every user who tries to access this page is successful in doing so. Finally, I acknowledge that everything I say here shall have unavoidable effects, which I will be unable to predict in advance. I will accept and deal with the consequences of my actions, whatever they may be. I commit my will to the Highest Power in the universe. So let it be written. So let it be done.